Responsible Adults

August 22, 2008 at 10:02 am (Uncategorized)
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Wow, it’s been awhile!  We’re back in Denton after a couple of weeks in Memphis and it feels good to get back into a routine.  Memphis was a great trip, as always, but a lot of work, too.  We spent our first couple of days, admittedly, having a good time with friends, but then it was mostly business as we set to work going through our stuff, having a garage sale, and packing up.  Our garage sale went well and I was, once again, blown away by the kindness and servant-heartedness of my friends.  My friends, Bethany, probably did more work on the sale than I did and she is a single mom!  We sold most of what we wanted to and the situation couldn’t have been better with having it at the church.  

During our last move and at other high pressure times, Mark and I have in the past slipped into some behaviors that were…. less than efficient.  I did a lot of preparation and work in the preceding months and Mark did not (it was because he was still working full-time and I was not.)  Then, as Mark’s time was freed and he started helping more, he stepped in and did  a lot, but instead of us communicating well and working together, he clamped down and become controlling and I slacked off and started to abandon the work in favor of hanging out with friends.  It worked insofar as neither one of us was bothered by each other’s behavior (well, maybe mildly) and our goal was accomplished, but it was not really well done and that’s kind of ridiculous.

This time we sat down ahead of time to discuss this and I’m proud to say that I did not abandon my work, I did all that I had set out to do.  Several times I had to give up seeing someone or being social to accomplish my task and it paid off.  Mark also did what he had set out to do with minimal control issues.  It’s nice to feel like you’ve been a responsible adult every once in a while.

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Role Tides

July 17, 2008 at 4:29 am (Uncategorized)
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Wow, it’s been quite a while since I’ve posted anything. Once again, limited internet access is the culprit and a common phenomenon in the life of a missionary. We are currently in Denton, TX and we are really enjoying the people here. Two things that have impacted me about the people here are that they are really nice and they drive fast.

Over the last year I have changed roles probably more than some people have in ten years. It was only a little more than a year ago that we decided that we were in a secure enough position with leaving for Africa for me to quit my job at Highland Oaks Elementary, so at that point I was a working mom with a very demanding job. Then I turned in my resignation and I was a stay at home mom. That role was great, and a lot of fun. I was able to go to Snowden (the girls’ school) to volunteer, have lunch with friends, spend time reading and praying in the mornings all by myself, cook, clean, do some volunteer work, and towards the end, pack up our house. That time was short lived, but sweet and fairly uncomplicated. My best memory of that time was being able to pick the girls up from school daily, and sometimes having the Mason girls or the Gamble girls over to play.

In January we moved to Africa and my role changed back to teacher, but nothing like my role as public school teacher. It was like teaching kids in an extended family, but with the additional roles of being new teammates and coming back as old teammates. There was a lot of familiarity to what we were doing and where we were, but a big feeling of being in new territory as well. I was intimidated by buying food and cooking meals (just like before,) I had intermittent feelings of wanting to thrust myself into mixing with the Kabiye and involving myself in their culture, alternating with waves of wanting to lock myself in our apartment with popcorn and five seasons Alias (which was the only American tv show I could get my hands on.) Then, after the school year ended but before we left Kara, I found myself in the role of learner and “helper” as I got to know the work and staff at AED. I was mostly just learning, but that took place in the form of meeting people and sharing briefly in their lives, which I drank up.

We left Togo and came back to the States to do our national tour. We’ve been to several places as missionaries, tourists, friends, guests, beggars, and family members. We are now settled down in Denton and are experiencing the role of visiting missionary, which certainly has its perks, but is a category unto itself. Mark goes in to the office each day and I am home with the kids, homeschooling and doing the things stay at home moms do. It’s nice for the most part, but I can feel the presence of another shift in my role looming ahead. I know that we will be back in Togo in a couple of months and my girls will be in school and I will be at home and working in ministry. We will have to find a new balance and a new rhythm, so while I’m enjoying the good of being here, I can’t let myself get too comfortable.

Does that all sound whiny and complainy? I don’t feel whiny and complainy about it, but I guess there is a reality there that I feel a need to acknowledge. I guess its a good reminder to me to drink up all the good of where you are and let the bad slip away. Things may (in my case probably will) change soon and the bad will be gone so why waste your time worrying about it, but the good will be gone, too, and you’ll miss it.

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There were never such devoted…

June 19, 2008 at 4:45 am (Uncategorized)
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Carrie\'s \"contemplative\" faceJulie\'s m.o.- giving my girls whatever they wantwith Paula at the City MuseumAs the child of an Air Force officer, the wife of a minister, and a missionary, moving from one place to another is second nature to me. The hardest part of leaving a place is leaving the people we meet and get to know and come to love. As daily life unrolls little things bring up memories of friends I have had in years past, and I always feel a little wistful because I cannot adequately express to people how much I appreciate them, how they’ve affected my life, and how grateful I am that I’ve been able to partake in how God has expressed His artistry through their existence. I feel this way about close friends, of course, but I even think about people that I have known more casually. Anyway, I’ve decided that I might start a series of blog posts about people that I am grateful to have known as an effort to outpour my thanks to God for the rich relationships he’s given me.

As we finish up our initial time in St. Louis, I am thinking of my family. I grew up with three older sisters in a house that reflects all the things that typify a predominantly female environment. My sister Julie is one of the most entertaining people I know. Almost anything she says, whether it’s a story of something that has happened, her opinion on something, whether happy or sad, it is amusing. She makes my girls feel like little princesses and spoils them endlessly with time, treats, gifts, and love. I love that my girls know that they have family who love them so much and will always cheer them on. My sister Paula is passionate, exuberant, and a ton of fun. She would challenge me to hop down the grocery aisle on one leg (and I don’t mean when we were kids, it was last weekend,) and do tricks in the pool or on the trampoline with me. She still likes to do my hair and make-up. Paula has never met a stranger and can relate to anyone regardless of age, nationality, socioeconomic status, education level, or race. She genuinely loves people and it shows. My sister Carrie is supportive, sweet and sincere. She loves her family and friends earnestly and is always thinking of their well-being. She listens to me talk about what we are doing in Africa and asks questions. She encourages me about my faith, my parenting, and my marriage. She thinks about the things that are important to Mark and me and she cares about them, and she shares about what’s going on in her life and in her walk with God. My sisters aren’t perfect and we all make mistakes or poor decisions sometimes, but I can honestly see such wonderful and beautiful things in each of them. I love them, enjoy them, admire them, and I am thankful for them.

My family is a little crazy sometimes, and our lives and interactions can be pretty dramatic, but I am so grateful for the love and devotion that underlies and supersedes everything else that goes on. In fact, sometimes it is the drama that lets you know that you really are a close family. If we can stick together through all that we have, I guess we’ll stick through anything. It has been great to laugh and talk with my sisters for the last couple of days and I am already looking forward to seeing them again.

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