The Fine Balance

It is Wednesday and we are scheduled to have 48 people in our home tomorrow for Thanksgiving.  This morning I sat down to spend some time studying Kabiye with Essowe before embarking on my day of pre-cooking and cleaning, when Beatrice (our houseworker) called to say she has a cold and cannot come to work.  My mind started sifting through possibilities of how I can find help and/or get everything done myself.  I could call Abla, a friend of ours who helps out from time to time, but I spoke with her yesterday and her son is sick.  I called Mana to see if one of her kids could come over and she said that they wouldn’t have time today.  I then started to to sift through what needed to be done to assess what could be simplified or eliminated.  I crossed cooking dinner off my list and replaced it with heating up leftovers, and crossed language lessons off my list and replaced it with preparing veggies (the price for having local, organic veggies from the market is having to sanitize them so that we don’t end up with an amoeba or typhoid.)

As I sat down with Essowe to explain, she eagerly said, “I can help with dishes!”  I tried to refuse her offer, not wanting to burden her with my expanding to-do list, but she insisted.  So Essowe and I set to work in the kitchen together.  We decided to sing Kabiye songs as we worked, thus tackling language lessons in a small way.  We talked about Thanksgiving and what God has done for us.  My plans for today were to accomplish all of the tasks set before me, but Essowe’s kind offer and joyful spirit reminded me that in every dish I cook and every plate I wash, there is joy and Thanksgiving.

I remember last year’s Thanksgiving feast.  Our family invited Essowe, Mana, Beatrice, Sitsope, Joseph, Germaine, and their children to share in a feast of rice with peanut sauce and fruit.  It was very representative of the first Thanksgiving where the foreigners came to a new land and celebrated and gave thanks to God for his provision along with people who were vastly different from them, but who helped them make a new life in their new homeland.  Again I am thankful for God’s provision for us, especially as he uses our Kabiye friends to be his hands and feet in the gifts he offers.

The holidays are approaching and we have just passed the one year mark since our last visit to the US.  We are at the in between point for furloughs (if we take a furlough every two years systematically.)  If I’m not attentive, those factors could lead to me feeling very homesick soon.  In general, I don’t feel like we make such a great sacrifice to be here because the work is so rewarding that it overshadows the sacrifices.  The best term I can think of is “trade-offs” as opposed to “sacrifice.”  However, the holidays are such a sentimental time for me and bring about reminders of the thing that really does feel like a sacrifice, not being able to see family.

So, as we prepare for Thanksgiving, I am trying to plan for ways to make the holiday season merry and bright even though we won’t have all of the traditional props.  We started November off well by having a Harvest Festival (in pictures at top.)  We are now planning Thanksgiving dinner, and I am really looking forward to that.  We will put up our Christmas tree and get out the Christmas dishes that my mother and mother-in-law bought for us.  I am trying to download Christmas movies and Christmas specials from the internet so that our weekly movie nights in December will be Christmas shows, and then I am planning to make fall treats this month and Christmas treats next month.  Decorating our tree is fun because we like to invite some African friends over to help, and they get just as excited about it as we do.  Our team does a party at school for the kids, we ladies have a cookie exchange with other expatriate families, we go caroling, and we are planning to take treats or maybe dinner to the orphanage and/or the school for the blind.  Also, a couple of people have asked about sending us care packages lately and I have told them that we want holiday treats, so maybe we’ll have some red and green M&Ms or other festive things to help us along.

I know that if I just coast along and don’t make all of these plans, this season will pass just like any other, and then I’ll sit and think about all the festivities and fellowship our friends and families are experiencing, and then I’ll feel down.  However, knowing that could happen, I am determined not to allow it.  I am excited about November and December.  I grateful for the amazing amount of blessings we have and for the people that we love and can share this season with, American and African alike!

It’s been a good day at Kennellville so far (Kennellville is the name given to our home by our friend, Mike Squires.)  This morning I woke up early and got at the door to visit my friend Phoebe.  Phoebe is the woman who has adopted Awe (a child I’ve mentioned in previous posts and who has become very dear to me.)  I had expressed interest in going to the school for blind that Awe now attends, so she suggested that I come this morning and go with her to take Awe to school.  I arrived and her older children were at home, and her other young child, Kevin had not yet left for school.  The boys who are in intermediate and junior high grades had already left for school.  I picked up Phoebe and Awe, and off we went to school.  Awe is battling a bad case of ringworm, as are many children around here right now.  As we were leaving Phoebe said to Awe, “You are really a little king today.  Everyday when I take you to school on my moto the other kids say, ‘Awe, you come to school like a king!’  Imagine what they will say when you show up in a car!”

The school for the blind is a couple of kilometres south of town.  When we arrived I pulled the car into the courtyard.  It is a good sized property that has a girls’ dormitory, a boys’ dormitory, a kitchen building, and a school building.  The school building consists of a row of seven classrooms.  Most of the students live there, but Awe does not because his HIV status requires special attention regarding diet and medication.

When we got out of the car, many students came to greet us.  It seems as though Awe is very well liked, and he is the smallest child there.  The students were eager, polite, and quite honestly charming.  We talked with a few of them as we made our way from the dormitories to the school building.  When we arrived I met several of the teachers as well as the headmaster.  The students were so relaxed with each other as well as with the staff that I could tell that they have a good learning environment.  I asked if we could take a picture and they found it very exciting, so they assembled in front of the building and I took a picture and some video.

Afterwards, they began their morning routine by standing in a straight line and singing the National Anthem of Togo and another song.  They continued to sing as they filed into their various classrooms.  As they started we went into Awe’s class to greet them.  It was a class of about 15 students, ranging from Awe, age 9, to an older gentleman with grey hair.  Most students were middle school aged.  The class was a lower level class and is for young students, but also for older people who have recently lost their sight.

The school has about 45 students altogether, but some older students who have become very adept at overcoming their disability have been integrated into the schools in town.  Therefore, the school has 25 students who attend the school on their campus.

Once again, I find myself in the midst of people who have so little, and yet I felt so encouraged and uplifted by them.  I am so humbled by their joy and kindness.  If I am am tempted to ever feel sorry for myself (I had some real moments last week,) or be discouraged by surrounding circumstances, I need look no further than the students and teachers at this school for accountability!

The most common question we are asked about life in Togo is “What is the weather like?”  Thinking about weather this time of year can be dangerous for me since it brings further awareness that I am missing out on another Fall.  To combat those negative feelings and wishing for something I can’t have,  I thought I’d post about the weather here as we enter dry season.  It is my policy to focus on the things I enjoy so that I don’t miss out on them while I have them, so I will tell you all the great things about this time of year and leave out the part about the dust.

It has been very consistently rainy, and the roads are full of ruts and mud, there are several places we can’t go because the road are too bad, so this time of year it starts to dry out and the roads begin to gradually shape up.

I can line dry my laundry again.

Rains are tapering off and it will get so dry that laundry and towels dry within an hour.

I can walk and ride my bike without fear of rain derailing my plans.

My salt, sugar, and other powdered or granular ingredients stay as they were intended instead of clumping up.  I can use a salt shaker again!

Humidity doesn’t mess with baking.

While everything else is turning brown, Flamboyant trees will bloom a brilliant red.

We will have a period of the coolest weather of the year.  Long pants and jackets- here we come!

It will get so dry that I will really grow to be appreciative of the moisture the rain brings by the time rainy season comes back around.

Dry season is the best time to go on safari.

I sit down with a grateful spirit today.  I am thankful for the things I have to do, and for the time I have to do them.

Last week was a bit of a crazy week.  Mark and I had been working on establishing a new routine that would meet everyone’s needs.  I just made headway when I came into the kind of week where you have to throw ALL plans out the window.  Tuesday morning I met with my language teacher, but ended up talking through a lot of cultural stuff instead of language.  Then, a African friend came with a problem, and we ended up sitting and talking for several hours.  By the time we were finished, I had time to cook and get dinner on the table.  No problem, right?  It’s just one day and I can make up for it tomorrow.

Wednesday started with a phone call from one of our teachers saying that she was sick and needed a substitute.  Not a big deal.  I can rearrange my schedule and put things off.  I got to be teacher of Michal’s class, and that was very enjoyable.  I love and miss seeing those kids daily, and I love teaching.  Furthermore, I didn’t have anything that was particularly time sensitive until Friday.  Wednesday night I called our teacher and could tell that she would not be feeling better the next day.  Thursday I went into school to teach again.  Ok, what’s three days?  I can put off my work for three days.   Friday came and the teachers had a plan to cover for Jacque, thus I was able to work around the house and then prepare for our guests who were coming for dinner that evening (Abass, and Dr. Saibou, fromthe clinic.)

Saturday came and it was the day of the big sleepover.  I spent my day preparing to have seven little girls run and giggle late into the night.  I made a cake, which failed, and then made an impromptu adjustment to the cake to hide the fact that it was mostly crumbles.  By the time I finished, it was time for me to turn into a bus driver.  I played bus driver, came home, played homework tutor, then chef, and then finished getting ready for the party.  I played hostess and master of ceremonies, and then fell asleep before any of our guests did.  (Thanks, Mark, for staying up!)

Sunday morning I was up early to make the special homemade cinnamon rolls that my girls had requested.  I served them, and watched the girls play, and eventually saw all of our guests leave.  I cleaned up in the house a little, then it was time to get stuff together to teach a Bible class for our little church gathering.  Michal was very worn out from staying up too late the previous evening so Mark and I made a deal.  I would take Maddie to church, he would stay home with Michal and take responsibility for the cupcakes we needed to make for Monday’s Fall Festival.  Off I went with Maddie to worship and teach Cradle Roll.  I came home to a clean kitchen and cupcakes all ready for the next day’s festivities!  Hooray husband!  (He even made the powdered sugar from scratch!  Our teachers should give him Harding Housewife points.)

Monday morning I woke up to make more cupcakes (the first recipe didn’t yield as much as I thought it would.)  We prepared for our booth (Cupcake Walk) and off we went to the Fall Festival.  Some of you may be thinking, “Wow, you guys have Fall Festivals in Togo?!”  Well, we have whatever we create.  This fall, the four families from our team along with three other families created a Fall Festival.  It was a lot of fun and very festive.

The rest of the day was pretty relaxing.  We went to the pool (since the morning was terribly hot) with the Reeves, and then came home to a dinner of scrounge up whatever you can find in the fridge and a movie.

So, this was another post of daily life here in Togo.  There aren’t a lot of people to call on when something needs to be done, so we step up.  If there is a need for a substitute, we are it.  If we want to celebrate something, we make it happen.  But it was a great week and weekend, despite the sudden changes in plans and the hectic pace.

One of the things I’ve been doing at the clinic is helping with the Groupe de Parole, which occurs once a month for the OEV group (caregivers of orphans and other children at risk) and once for the PTME group (woman who are pregnant or have children under 18 months of age.)  We meet and discuss topics relevant to the issues these groups face.  The meetings usually have an educational component and a support group component.  My role has been to take the educational component and help the coordinators come up with effective methods of teaching and disseminating information.

It is always a strange experience to be an outsider to a group, and then to come in and try to offer up something of worth.  There is no doubt that I have a knowledge base and skill set that is highly needed and valued, and that would enrich what they are trying to accomplish at the clinic.  On the other hand, with cultural differences and linguistic differences, the task of determining their real objectives and what I can do to help them get there is sometimes monumental.

So I have started a project with two of my colleagues from the clinic, Mana and Brigitte.  I am teaching them some of the foundational educational principles behind sound teaching.  We are discussing methodologies of teaching that do more than convey information, but that actually empower people and enable behavior and attitude change.

After working with children in public schools, I find my new ‘pupils’ are blowing me away with their motivation and depth of insight.  During our first lesson, I presented a model of human behaviors, values, and beliefs.  I explained the model and we discussed it.  Before the lesson’s end, Mana and Brigitte were discussing their own behaviors, values, and beliefs and inserting themselves into the model.  It brought forth a discussion of the challenges they face in their work and personal life.  We ended the first lesson with a prayer (which was particularly cool considering the three of us are Protestant, Catholic, and Muslim.)

When we came together the next time and I looked over their “homework,” they had thought through things so thoroughly that they posed a question that I had never even considered.  We ended up modifying the model from the first session.  It is no new phenomenon for students to teach the teacher, but it is really exciting to see that happening at this level.  Their willingness to delve into the subject with such seeking has inspired me to take the sessions to the next level and put more of myself into it.  I am excited to see what fruit is born from this project in its original objective, but also in personal growth, interpersonal relationships, and spiritually in each of us.

Wow!  So this is the longest I’ve gone without posting on my blog.  September was a crazy month, and it has taken most of October to recover from it!  I will not even list all the madness of September, but instead I will cut straight to Michal’s illness since it was a pretty big deal and we had so many people asking about and praying for her.

One morning she was complaining of not feeling well.  We sent her off to school because, though she’s not really a faker, there were no specific symptoms and we thought it might just be a little tummy trouble or gas or something.  By lunch, she was running fever, so Mark went to pick her up and took her in for a malaria test right away (just a little finger prick.)  She started having severe diarrhea about every 20 minutes.  We got the test results that same afternoon and found that she did have a very low malaria count.  Here, that is good news as it means we’ve figured out what it is and can treat it very easily, so we started her on treatment that evening.  She was very sick through the night with high fever and absolutely relentless diarrhea (still every 20 minutes.)  She ( and I) got almost no sleep because just as soon as she would settle back in bed she would have to get up again.  She was also vomitting every couple of hours.  This continued through the next day, and by evening we decided there must be something else since she had been on malaria meds for 24 hours and was still very sick.  We had to wait until the next morning to take in a stool sample since the lab was already closed, but we did so the next day (Saturday.)  We got the results back that afternoon and found that she had an intestinal amoeba and another unspecified GI infection.  We started her on treatment for the amoeba that day.  By Sunday, she had been on malaria treatment for 48 hours and amoeba treatment for 24 hours, and still the diarrhea and fever had not slacked off.  She still had not gotten any rest because of constantly having to get up.  We called a doctor from one of the local hospitals who came to our house to see her.  He put her on antibiotics for the other infection (just making his best guess at what the infection was since we would not get the test results until Tuesday.)  We also started her on oral rehydration salts.  Monday came and the fever diminished slightly and the diarrhea slowed down to once an hour.  Each day after held a very slight improvement with the fever finally going away completely on Wed.

Then Friday, she started coughing and her fever returned even higher than it was before.  We started consulting again with the doctors we had spoken to, and also with our friend Dr. Ed Thornton from the States.  We had her lungs checked and watched as the stomach symptoms improved incrementally but her cough and fever continued.  It was a very trying time as the symptoms seemed to get just a little better each day, but we never could look at her and say “She is definitely feeling much better!”  She did get her appetite back about 10 days into the illness, but she still wasn’t resting well.

Ed researched what illnesses were going around West Africa at that time and postulated that the cough and second fever were the results of catching a strain of the flu that is present in West Africa right now.  The symptoms would last for about a week.  He thought that it was unrelated to the GI problems except for the weakened immune system making her more susceptible.  The second week we watched and waited for her fever to abate.  We were giving it a week because of the possibility of it being the flu, but I was very impatient since she had already been through the previous week of severe illness.  When Friday morning came, I was ready to take drastic action if the fever remained, but she woke up with no fever and no other symptoms.  Hooray!  I was reticent to relax too much, afraid that it might come back, but it was finished completely.  She stayed at home and rested until the following Tuesday when she returned to school.  In the end, it was two weeks straight of fever and severe diarrhea, with other symptoms coming and going throughout.

I want to thank everyone for your prayers, concern, and encouragement.  We are so grateful to Dr. Thornton for being available to us, being quick to respond, and going the extra step to find out what it could be.  What a doctor to be able to diagnose a patient on another continent!  Also, we acknowledge that while Togo does not have the best and most up to date in medicine, we are so fortunate to have several labs, doctors, and medications available right here in Kara.  Many people are intimidated by the lack of medical care here, but we are grateful and praise God for what we have.

Also, though there are health risks associated with living here, it is very rare that one of us would get this sick.  Malaria is usually like a rough flu that we treat and then move on.  Intestinal problems are usually diagnosed and treated and then over.  We are thrilled that Michal is up and bouncing around as usual now.  Her illness was very hard on all us, but we are not afraid of something like that becoming a regular occurrence.

I thought I would take the month of August off from my work at the clinic.  We were out of town for the first week and half of August, then we returned in time to start working on getting the schoolhouse ready for teachers and for school, then I went down to Accra to pick up the teachers, and now we are working to get them settled and get the classrooms set up.  I told my colleagues and they were very understanding.  They have hardly called to ask questions or say that I am needed for something, but when I checked up on some things I found out that they were having a hard time moving forward with them.  For instance, Awe (the little boy that we are placing in a new home) still has not moved in with his new family.  There are things that must be done, and they are urgent, but there are so many urgent things that one cannot tend to them without neglecting some other urgent matter.

So today I will put off school things in order to help expedite the process of getting Awe moved, but it makes me reflect on my colleagues who are working everyday, six days a week (and often seven,) who deal with these urgent, life or death matters at a much deeper level.  There are some things from which it is very difficult to vacate, and feeling that from my perspective makes me appreciate even more Kapitan, Akala, and Abass who are so highly invested in the work there.