The Fine Balance in Gender Inequality

Last week Jean Marie (a friend from Lassa Tchou) came to visit.  It was the first time I had seen him since his mother (who was very dear to us all) passed away.  We visited for a while and I condoled with him, and then he asked me if I would go to Hade Te Yo the next day to speak about HIV/AIDS at the Ladies’ Retreat.  With Mark and his parents due to arrive that evening, school to teach the next day, and no pre-prepared lesson I wasn’t sure I would be able to pull it off, so I told him I’d think about it.  However, when Mark arrived that evening he assured me that he could substitute teach for me and get his parents settled in, so I was free to go to Hade Te Yo.

Andrea and I took the well worn from rainy season road, and arrived with no incident.  The group of women assembled was a small but sweet one.  We greeted each other, sat down, and they asked me what I had to say.  I began by sharing some thoughts from Galations, about how we are to treat those who are sick. We talked about how we fear illness so we have to be constantly communing with Christ, so that when an opportunity arises we can respond with the fruit of the Spirit instead of giving in to the fear response.  Fear is a natural and reasonable response to a disease as threatening and misunderstood as AIDS, so we have to be wise.

After we talked about the spiritual aspect of how to treat people who are infected in our communities, I briefly asked some true/ falsequestions to see what the ladies’ knowledge level was.  It was evident that they had already learned some things and were able to dispel some of the myths (some of them had been in groups I had taught previously,) but needed clarification on some other things.  We then had a question and answer time that developed into a discussion of some of the problems and issues they face.  Some of the questions they asked were simple and easily answered, but others were ones for which I have no answer like, “What if you are being faithful, but your husband has many wives and the other wives are not being faithful?” and “What if you are being faithful to your husband, but you know that he is sleeping with some of the promiscuous young girls in town and he refuses to wear a condom?”  Many of these women are married to men who are not Christians, and I know that their problems are very real.  I did tell them that there are many groupstrying to help with these problems, like the teaching that our churches are doing on marriage, and the Men As Partners campaign being done by Peace Corps Volunteers, but I also know that if those things take hold and change occurs (and I am optimistic that it will) that it may take 20, 30, or 40 years to see really significant differences in how women are treated.   That offers little comfort to a woman going home to her promiscuous husband’s bed.

As we were finishing up I looked at two beautiful little girls (pictured)who were silently hanging around the outskirts of the meeting and wondered what their futures hold.  I felt a mixture of hope and sadness, and the poignancy of the Fine Balance of our work here.  I can gratefully say that the balance definitely tips towards hope.

January 25, 2011. Tags: Africa, AIDS, gender inequality, God, HIV/AIDS, women's issues. missions, Africa, Togo, poverty, God, Jesus, HIV/AIDS, Uncategorized.