Last night I received some news that our Holmes Road family has been hoping to avoid for the last two years. Our friends have a daughter who was born with only half of a heart, she is missing the left side. This delicate condition requires a series of three surgeries to be performed during the first two years of life that could potentially lead to a fairly normal lifestyle for Olivia. Olivia will turn two this month and would normally be undergoing the last of the surgeries, but there has been a complication with the valve in her heart and they will not be able to carry out the last procedure. For the last two years the Apas and all of us who love them dearly have enjoyed the privilege of marvelling and rejoicing at each step because Olivia has come through everything so well and has always overcome any obstacle that has arisen. Her parents have been yanked through every extreme emotion and fought hard to remain faithful, hopeful, and optimistic at every up and down. As I digest the fact that Olivia will now have to have a heart transplant, I am emotionally exhausted, and I can’t even begin to imagine how Sarah and Anthony are doing.
The grief, worry, and fear remind me that the biggest things in life are ultimately out of control and that sometimes it takes a lot of faith to trust that God is good and sovereign. It takes me back to the time when I was on bedrest waiting to see if I was going to be able to sustain my pregnancy and things were not looking favorable. I remember trying to find the right combination to open the lock and get God to hear my prayer and do what I asked and after a careful search of scripture deciding that the strength of my faith would determine whether or not I could manipulate God into saving my babies. I am also reminded of the long hard road God led me down to show me himself and the error in my theology, and to help me proclaim him as sovereign even after I lost the babies.
There are really no words to say when faced with the uncertain outcome of the life of a beautiful two year old child. I just am entrusting Olivia, Sarah and Anthony, and Olivia’s older sister Natalie into God’s sovereign hands. I am praying for him to lead this family who is so dear and embraces life with such vivacity and vibrance down a road that is ridden with grief, worry, and fear and I ask anyone who reads this to pray for them as well.
