The Fine Balance

I have been agonizing over the decision to start a blog, but the move to Africa has pushed me over the edge into taking action.  It really is a great way to communicate with people who care about what we are doing, thinking, and feeling.  I have been reticent to start because, though I love to write, publishing my thoughts to the web is a bit intimidating.  I feel like it is difficult to really lay my true thoughts and feelings out there to such a broad audience, but to be too surface would just be boring.  Tracey (Ries) recently assured me that, for the most part, the people who take the time to read this will be people with whom I would probably share these things anyway, so here we go… Today is Easter and it has been a very good weekend.  The last couple of weeks Mark and I have both begun to feel the effects of culture shock.  I have been very moody and found myself in love with Africa one minute and annoyed with it the next.  I have wanted to rationalize my irritation and look for ways to make myself feel better, or at least more stable, but in truth I know that this is just part of the process and I can’t manipulate my way out of it.  The best I can do is to be prayerful and honest and be a good steward of the difficulties as well as the joys.  I remember our mentors talking about culture shock, and Mark Berryman once said that the thing you feel compelled to do is withdraw and retreat into things that take you back to the familiarity of your home culture, but doing that just exacerbates the problem.  The best thing to do is to involve yourself further in the new culture and force yourself to get out and know the people.  This weekend has proven that maxim true.  The Kabiye churches held their annual All Church Retreat and our family attended on Saturday and today.  It was so wonderful to be out in the village with my husband, children, teammates, and Kabiye Christians.  The kids ran and played and enjoyed the freedom and ruggedness of African bush, we worshipped with the Christians and heard thoughts and exhortations from missionaries and Kabiye people, and were fed well.  The highlight for me personally was sitting and speaking with some of the women.  My Kabiye is very limited, and when I say limited I feel like I’m giving myself too much credit. Regardless, I was able to tell them my name, learn theirs, and engage in a brief discussion about my children and where we live.  The people here are always so gracious and encouraging when we speak Kabiye.  They have a phrase “Nya ne konkah-dee” ( or close to that) which means something like “thank you for your effort.”  I heard that over and over again as people thanked us for coming and thanked me for trying to speak Kabiye.  It is a very humbling experience to work with people who are so grateful for the little things we do.  Certainly there are times of frustration and irritation, both irrational and justified, but I am grateful that God uses time with the Kabiye people to help clear my muddled thoughts and see our purpose, to witness His moving in the lives of these beautiful and amazing people.

Our family spent yesterday and last night at the village of Lassa Tchou, doing what we refer to as “bonding.”  Essentially, we were just trying to get to know the people there better and to experience village life.  It was a great experience, though challenging.  We are in the middle of the dry season, which translates as “HOT!”   We arrived in time for church and worshipped with the church, then we went to the home of Jean Marie and Christianne.  Jean Marie is one of the elders there and they graciously acted as our hosts.  We got to see the new well which was almost finished (it may be finished now) and the girls ran around and played.  Maddie, Michal, and I “helped” make lunch by grinding black eyed peas on a stone and carrying water.  The girls learned how to fetch water from the old well, and that become a source of much amusement later in the day.  We enjoyed our lunch of beignets made from ground beans, and then were allowed to rest most of the afternoon.  We spent a little time exploring the rocky and hilly village with some of the children.  I love the hills, huge rocks, and amazing Baobabs of Kabiyeland!We spent the afternoon making visits around the village and watching the kids play.  Michal got quite a reaction from the village women by fetching enough water to fill two big bowls.  They went on and on about how strong she was and how Maddie carried so much water so well.  Admittedly, by about 6:00 I was pretty worn out and my brain was taxed from hearing so much Kabiye.  If I really listen I can pick out enough words to get the general meaning of what is being said, and the ladies there were so patient and good to repeat things and explain.  Nonetheless, it is a situation of continuously thinking hard about everything that is being said, and it really wore me out.  After dinner we sang and prayed with some church members, then retired to our tent to “sleep” through a very hot night.  Mental note:  no more bonding during the hot season if we can help it!This morning we woke up to Michal being sick to her stomach (too much sun yesterday, I think) and the news  that Christianne left with Koumaya (one of the village women) during the night to walk to the hospital because she went into labor!   I left Lass Tchou this morning feeling grateful to God for the challenging and rich experience, and so grateful for the willingness of our girls to share in our work here.  Part of the reason we felt it so important to go bonding before we leave here in May is that we want the girls to be able to develop relationships with the people here, and to gain insight into their lives.  We want them to feel comfortable in villages even though the setting is so vastly different from what they know.  This is our prayer, but we know that it isn’t something we can make happen.  We can provide opportunities and try to foster that level of comfort, but we don’t want to force them into making those connections.  Mark and I both praise God that he has enabled our daughters to go into a strange setting and reach out to people different from them, learn new ways of doing things, eat different food, work hard, and play even when it is stinking hot with almost no complaining and with a great attitude!  I think that their willingness to go there with us physically, spiritually, and emotionally will really enable us to commit our selves to the work whole-heartedly and will be a great blessing to us, to them, and to the Kabiye people.By the way, my apologies to those of you who aren’t family who are reading this.  I know bragging parents can be a little obnoxious!