Lighting Up Sun August 22, 2008

The night after we went to the DMB/ Willie Nelson concert we attended a farewell party for our friends who are moving from Memphis to Asheville, NC.  I realize that I don’t live in Memphis anymore and so it’s kind of invalid for me to say I will miss them, but really they were a big part of our life in Midtown and Memphis won’t be the same without them.  

On an up note, the farewell party was really great.  Mark and Kimberly have two daughters, one Maddie’s age and one Michal’s age.  The kids spent the night at the Masons having their own party while we adults partied it up a few blocks away at the legendary Sun Studio, “the birthplace of Rock and Roll.”  The owners of Sun Studio are friends and neighbors of Mark and Kimberly and so they hosted the party.  Having lived in Memphis repeatedly, I am aware that there is a rich music heritage there that far surpasses being the home of Graceland and having good music on Beale Street, but I’ve never really taken the time to learn much about it.  In addition to enjoying a night with friends we were given a tour of the studio and it really is pretty impressive.  One of my friends, Camille, is a walking documentary of the history of Memphis music and she was a ton of fun (as she always is.)  At the end of the evening Mark and Kimberly (who have a garage band) ended up playing around in the studio and doing some recording.  It can really blow you mind to think your playing in the same studio where artists like Elvis, Jerry Lee Lewis, Carl Perkins, Roy Orbison, Ray Charles, and even U2 have recorded.  It was a great time and memorable experience.  The first picture shows Camille, Me, Stacy (owner of the studio,) and Kimberly.  The next pic is Mark and me under the equipment used to record Rattle and Hum.

An Evening with DMB August 22, 2008

As was previously mentioned, we started our time in Memphis with a boom of friends and fun.  Saturday we went to the Dave Matthews Band/ Wille Nelson concert which cannot be given adequate due in a blog.  It was incredible.  I will say a few things and refer you to my friend, Matt’s blog which has some video from the concert, and leave it at that.  Dave started with a great song, Don’t Drink the Water and backed the stage with pictures of underdeveloped countries.  Mark and I both remarked that it made us think of home.  Every song was great but two surprising treats were Burning Down the House (by the Talking Heads) and Sledgehammer (Peter Gabriel is another fave for Mark and me.)  They did an amazing job on both of the covers.  The encore was a performance worthy to end an evening with DMB as Dave sang a sweet, soft song called Sister and then the band launched into a several minute long teaser that eventually became Marching Ants.  Wow, I’m sad it’s over and that chances are great that I won’t be able to do it again.  

Witnessing legendary talent is always an honor (I’m not even trying to sound dramatic here, I really feel that way) and certainly DMB and Willie Nelson are legendary talents.

The Space Between August 22, 2008

Here’s a question Maddie asked in all earnestness the other day.

“Mom, in the song The Space Between, when Dave Matthews says ‘the space between our hidden eyes’ is he talking about his nose?”  

I love that kid!

Warning: Unabashed Parental Bragging Ahead August 22, 2008

My girls are pretty amazing.  Over the last couple of weeks we were in Memphis trying to get a lot of work done.  My girls were so well behaved that they were a pleasure to have around.  There was minimal complaining and they were so good hanging out and playing at the church while I worked that it was no problem to have them there with me.  

Furthermore, on the drive back from Memphis we got a late start after having to run a bunch of errands, the first leg of the trip went very slowly due to heavy rain and traffic, and we forgot the power cord to the DVD player so usual entertainment source was unavailable.  My girls made the 8 hour trip with little complaining and with great attitudes.  I’m so proud of them and grateful for the treasures God has given me in my precious daughters!  It’s nice that sometimes our kids show us how to behave.

Responsible Adults August 22, 2008

Wow, it’s been awhile!  We’re back in Denton after a couple of weeks in Memphis and it feels good to get back into a routine.  Memphis was a great trip, as always, but a lot of work, too.  We spent our first couple of days, admittedly, having a good time with friends, but then it was mostly business as we set to work going through our stuff, having a garage sale, and packing up.  Our garage sale went well and I was, once again, blown away by the kindness and servant-heartedness of my friends.  My friends, Bethany, probably did more work on the sale than I did and she is a single mom!  We sold most of what we wanted to and the situation couldn’t have been better with having it at the church.  

During our last move and at other high pressure times, Mark and I have in the past slipped into some behaviors that were…. less than efficient.  I did a lot of preparation and work in the preceding months and Mark did not (it was because he was still working full-time and I was not.)  Then, as Mark’s time was freed and he started helping more, he stepped in and did  a lot, but instead of us communicating well and working together, he clamped down and become controlling and I slacked off and started to abandon the work in favor of hanging out with friends.  It worked insofar as neither one of us was bothered by each other’s behavior (well, maybe mildly) and our goal was accomplished, but it was not really well done and that’s kind of ridiculous.

This time we sat down ahead of time to discuss this and I’m proud to say that I did not abandon my work, I did all that I had set out to do.  Several times I had to give up seeing someone or being social to accomplish my task and it paid off.  Mark also did what he had set out to do with minimal control issues.  It’s nice to feel like you’ve been a responsible adult every once in a while.

Role Tides July 17, 2008

Wow, it’s been quite a while since I’ve posted anything. Once again, limited internet access is the culprit and a common phenomenon in the life of a missionary. We are currently in Denton, TX and we are really enjoying the people here. Two things that have impacted me about the people here are that they are really nice and they drive fast.

Over the last year I have changed roles probably more than some people have in ten years. It was only a little more than a year ago that we decided that we were in a secure enough position with leaving for Africa for me to quit my job at Highland Oaks Elementary, so at that point I was a working mom with a very demanding job. Then I turned in my resignation and I was a stay at home mom. That role was great, and a lot of fun. I was able to go to Snowden (the girls’ school) to volunteer, have lunch with friends, spend time reading and praying in the mornings all by myself, cook, clean, do some volunteer work, and towards the end, pack up our house. That time was short lived, but sweet and fairly uncomplicated. My best memory of that time was being able to pick the girls up from school daily, and sometimes having the Mason girls or the Gamble girls over to play.

In January we moved to Africa and my role changed back to teacher, but nothing like my role as public school teacher. It was like teaching kids in an extended family, but with the additional roles of being new teammates and coming back as old teammates. There was a lot of familiarity to what we were doing and where we were, but a big feeling of being in new territory as well. I was intimidated by buying food and cooking meals (just like before,) I had intermittent feelings of wanting to thrust myself into mixing with the Kabiye and involving myself in their culture, alternating with waves of wanting to lock myself in our apartment with popcorn and five seasons Alias (which was the only American tv show I could get my hands on.) Then, after the school year ended but before we left Kara, I found myself in the role of learner and “helper” as I got to know the work and staff at AED. I was mostly just learning, but that took place in the form of meeting people and sharing briefly in their lives, which I drank up.

We left Togo and came back to the States to do our national tour. We’ve been to several places as missionaries, tourists, friends, guests, beggars, and family members. We are now settled down in Denton and are experiencing the role of visiting missionary, which certainly has its perks, but is a category unto itself. Mark goes in to the office each day and I am home with the kids, homeschooling and doing the things stay at home moms do. It’s nice for the most part, but I can feel the presence of another shift in my role looming ahead. I know that we will be back in Togo in a couple of months and my girls will be in school and I will be at home and working in ministry. We will have to find a new balance and a new rhythm, so while I’m enjoying the good of being here, I can’t let myself get too comfortable.

Does that all sound whiny and complainy? I don’t feel whiny and complainy about it, but I guess there is a reality there that I feel a need to acknowledge. I guess its a good reminder to me to drink up all the good of where you are and let the bad slip away. Things may (in my case probably will) change soon and the bad will be gone so why waste your time worrying about it, but the good will be gone, too, and you’ll miss it.

Opa! June 29, 2008

Today has been a really nice day. I was able to sleep in a little, and then enjoyed some cuddle time with Michal after I got up. For lunch, we went downtown to the Greek Fest to enjoy food and entertainment. They had a nice selection of Greek fare including (but not limited to) moussaka, pasticchio, slouvaki, gyros, spinikopita, and of course, baklava. We ate and watched Greek dancing, then let the girls play in the sprinkler park that adjoins the fairgrounds. After awhile, we returned to the festival and Maddie and I participated in dancing lessons. It was a lot of fun, and I wished that I had some of my teammates, or Beth or Lola there with me.

Now we are back at Wayne and Ann’s and I am enjoying a lovely rainstorm while sitting in their sunroom and drinking a good cup of coffee.

Family, dancing, music, food, foreign culture, coffee, and rain… Opa!

Calling for Backup June 27, 2008

About two years ago, we were making plans to return to Togo. I had come across some material on AIDS in Africa that pricked my heart so I started to read and research the topic. I knew we were planning on moving to Togo at the time, but I wasn’t planning on getting involved in work with AIDS because I felt so unqualified and inadequate for something that important. As I was looking up information, I came across a global health conference that was to be hosted by an NGO called Unite for Sight and I told Mark about it. He encouraged me to register and go, but I didn’t because I thought it was out of my league. Mark looked up the sight and registered for me. What a sweet husband to encourage me, give me a little push, and reject any doubts I had in myself.

When it came time for the conference I was all prepared to go. It took Friday off of work, planned my lessons so that I would be prepared for the substitute and still be able to leave when the bell rang so that I could catch my flight to San Francisco. My friend, Lola, was going to pick me up at my house to take me to the airport. My flight itinerary, rental car papers, and tickets for the conference were all neatly organized (by Mark) in a nifty and convenient little folder, along with a map to the place where I was going to stay.

I left on time, got home, got my suitcase to put in Lola’s car and realized that I had left my nifty, organized folder on my desk at work. There was not enough time to drive out to my work and get to the airport, I didn’t know what to do. I called my friend, Beth Garrison, but she had already left work, too. A few minutes later she called me back saying that she had turned around, was driving back to the school, and would meet me with my folder of papers at a place by the airport, which she did. When she got there and I apologized she just laughed and said, “It’s ok Nicole, you take care of other people and your friends take care of you.” That made me feel so good to know that my friends love and appreciate me even when I’m disorganized and scatterbrained (not that it happens very often - WINK!) In fact, some friends (like Lola) find my flightiness endearing.

The point to this whole story is that we’ve been given a lot of praise and credit since we’ve been back in the States, for the work we are planning to do. People think highly of us and are especially touched by the work with AED and the well drilling project. But I oftentimes feel like I’m getting credit for something that I am just the smallest part of. Sometimes I look at my teammates experience (read this on Becky’s blog) or at what Kevin Fiori and Jenny Schechter are doing and I feel like such a poser (yes, I just used the word poser.) My teammates have been there for much longer and have done so much, everyone at Hope Through Health has affected so much change in Kara, and even the things I do are usually a result of action, encouragement, and support from Mark and my friends. I am so grateful to the company I keep and I thank God for friends who are so servant-hearted.

Revisiting Christian Music June 27, 2008

I’m just getting back from a lengthy hiatus from Christian music. Several years ago I listened to it a lot, probably because we had a great Christian radio station (a rare commodity) in Tulsa, and my kids were little and I was wanting to fill them with positive messages without subjecting myself to Raffi every time we climbed into the car. When we moved to Memphis, I didn’t have as much time to keep myself up to date on the new Christian music that I like, and there were no stations that suited my taste (no, I’m not a big fan of K-LOVE,) so I spent more time with my secular favorites and expanding my repertoire of indie bands.

All of this coincided with something else that was going on in my walk with Christ. For the first time in our marriage, we were not working as ministers, and we had the opportunity to live out our spiritual lives as a family rather than as the missionaries, youth minister, etc. This caused me to step back and look at things purely in light of my relationship with Christ and not with the constant thought of “what will our church think?” I have to say that I am really grateful for that freedom and how it functioned to allow me time to re-solidify my convictions and beliefs in Christ. I noticed that when you are constantly keeping yourself aware of what others need and believe and continuously submitting to that, you can lose many opportunities to find your own stance on those subjects.

As far as the opinion that Christians should listen to Christian music exclusively, I don’t buy it. I don’t think that our choices on participation regarding popular Christian culture can be used as an accurate gauge for how we are doing in our spiritual lives. However, I am grateful for the talent God has given so many Christian artists and how their love for and commitment to Christ overflows in their work. I sometimes feel, as I listen to certain artists, that they are so overwhelmed by God’s magnificence that praise erupts from within them and spills out in song. I love to hear God’s truths throughout the day and while I’m going about my business. And I’m so glad that there are young women that my daughters admire and who are actually worthy of their admiration (thank you Bethany Dillon and Rebecca St. James!)

13 years of talking… June 25, 2008

When I first started dating my husband, I told one of my friends that I had a date with him and she said that she had been on a date with him once and he was boring. I wonder if she would have told me that if she had known that he would one day be my life partner! It really didn’t bother me though. Mark was not my friend’s type. She ended up marrying the kind of guy who is always trying to entertain others. My courtship with Mark was more low key, and filled with hours of conversations about God, books, art, music, life, philosophy.

it is funny to think that the very thing that drew me to him to begin with is the thing that binds us so closely today. The idea of initial attraction fading and not wanting to be with your spouse anymore is something I can’t relate to. We certainly have had our ups and downs, and marriage is far from simple for sure, but the experiences we’ve shared together have made me a better person and life much sweeter. We have been married for almost twelve years now, and I think it’s really cool that we still enjoy the same things we did when we first met. I love that he listens to me and that he thinks deeply about things. We usually have different perspectives, but I love to hear his ideas and why he thinks the way he does.

So… I don’t know how I ended up posting a gushy message about Mark. I seems like I should have saved this for August 3rd (our anniversary,) but I guess since I’m thinking it now I’ll put it out there.