Switching to Blogger…
So I am experimenting with switching to Blogger for my posts. My new site is http://nicolekennell.blogspot.com/.
Weekend Safari
Last night we got back from a great weekend camping safari. One of the best ways to deal with the sacrifices one makes to live in Africa (being far away from family) is to make sure that we enjoy the blessings of living here. Living five hours away from a great game park (Penjari in Northern Benin) is certainly one of those blessings.
One of the things I really enjoy about safari is that I get away from home, work, and my normal duties to a great distraction. It’s not the same kind of relaxing as Coconut Grove where I just go braindead and enjoy the ocean and my family, it really engages the brain. It is great to let go of how to handle a mother who is mistreating the orphans she has taken in in a culturally appropriate way and just focus on the beauty of your surroundings and the wonder of seeing a lion walk across the road just a few feet away from your car for a couple of days (I know that was a horrible run-on.) My favorite moment this year was when Michal and I were standing in the back of the truck, Mark was helping Maddie learn to drive, and I looked to my left to see an elephant placidly having a snack among the trees just beside us. It was rejuvenating to share that moment as a family, and to enjoy the company of my little girl! It was soothing to sleep in a tent with only the sounds of nature lulling us to sleep. It was relaxing to eat around a campfire and enjoy talking with Matt and Grace each night.
On our way back, we stopped to swim at a waterfall. You have to climb up two levels of rocks, but there you find this lovely swimming hole fed by a huge waterfall. We swam, climbed up on and jumped off of rocks, and basked in the sun.
So, I’m not posting pictures because we didn’t take many. We have decided that it’s much more relaxing to us to just enjoy the moments than to try to capture them. However, we are so grateful that we have been given those moments to enjoy!
The Fine Balance in Gender Inequality
Last week Jean Marie (a friend from Lassa Tchou) came to visit. It was the first time I had seen him since his mother (who was very dear to us all) passed away. We visited for a while and I condoled with him, and then he asked me if I would go to Hade Te Yo the next day to speak about HIV/AIDS at the Ladies’ Retreat. With Mark and his parents due to arrive that evening, school to teach the next day, and no pre-prepared lesson I wasn’t sure I would be able to pull it off, so I told him I’d think about it. However, when Mark arrived that evening he assured me that he could substitute teach for me and get his parents settled in, so I was free to go to Hade Te Yo.
Andrea and I took the well worn from rainy season road, and arrived with no incident. The group of women assembled was a small but sweet one. We greeted each other, sat down, and they asked me what I had to say. I began by sharing some thoughts from Galations, about how we are to treat those who are sick. We talked about how we fear illness so we have to be constantly communing with Christ, so that when an opportunity arises we can respond with the fruit of the Spirit instead of giving in to the fear response. Fear is a natural and reasonable response to a disease as threatening and misunderstood as AIDS, so we have to be wise.
After we talked about the spiritual aspect of how to treat people who are infected in our communities, I briefly asked some true/ falsequestions to see what the ladies’ knowledge level was. It was evident that they had already learned some things and were able to dispel some of the myths (some of them had been in groups I had taught previously,) but needed clarification on some other things. We then had a question and answer time that developed into a discussion of some of the problems and issues they face. Some of the questions they asked were simple and easily answered, but others were ones for which I have no answer like, “What if you are being faithful, but your husband has many wives and the other wives are not being faithful?” and “What if you are being faithful to your husband, but you know that he is sleeping with some of the promiscuous young girls in town and he refuses to wear a condom?” Many of these women are married to men who are not Christians, and I know that their problems are very real. I did tell them that there are many groupstrying to help with these problems, like the teaching that our churches are doing on marriage, and the Men As Partners campaign being done by Peace Corps Volunteers, but I also know that if those things take hold and change occurs (and I am optimistic that it will) that it may take 20, 30, or 40 years to see really significant differences in how women are treated. That offers little comfort to a woman going home to her promiscuous husband’s bed.
As we were finishing up I looked at two beautiful little girls (pictured)who were silently hanging around the outskirts of the meeting and wondered what their futures hold. I felt a mixture of hope and sadness, and the poignancy of the Fine Balance of our work here. I can gratefully say that the balance definitely tips towards hope.
Unabashed bragging about my daughter…
I am feeling excited and blessed. People generally characterize life on the mission field as one of sacrifice, and I guess that’s true to some extent, but there are so many amazing joys that go along with it! And besides, you make sacrifices no matter where you are or what you are doing, it’s just a matter of what you choose to sacrifice.
I am really enjoying my time with Maddie right now as Mark and Michal are in Ghana picking up his parents from the airport. Maddie is at such a fun age, and I love how sweet and helpful she is. She turns 12 this month, and I find myself surprised at how grown up she is in so many ways. She has a very clever and sophisticated sense of humor as well as a candor that is very endearing. She embraces life in Africa and is willing to try all of the things that come along with it. She is bravely preparing herself for the imminent departure of the only American friend her age in Kara. She accepts responsibility with a cheerful heart. She seeks contentment in the blessings she has, not in the constant striving for something new.
I think that it is a beautiful gift that God has created something sweet in every stage of childhood. We bemoan the growing up of our children because every accomplishment on their part is an indication of the growing independence that will eventually steal them from us. However, I am amazed and thrilled at what God is doing in the life of my not-so-little girl, and it is a great joy to take part in that growing with her!
Teaching in Togo
One of the tasks this new year outs on my plate is that of finding one or two people to volunteer to come teach our children for about ten months starting next February. I have really enjoyed being with the kids this year, and I love to teach, but the need for my ministry hasn’t disappeared. I find myself thinking, “When I’m done teaching this year I can…” and finishing the thought with things like focus on helping the CRF orphans more, study my Kabiye, visit people in hospitals, start a microloan program for women, put more time into the Preventing Mother to Child Transmission project.
So begins the search for one or two people to come spend about 10 months with us. We are looking for college graduates with any degree, who enjoy being with children. I have set up another blog to keep and manage info, and am thinking of even posting the need on Craig’s List. We have historically contacted Christian universities to talk to their students, and sometimes the universities are helpful, but often not. If you have any good ideas as to how I can get the word out, please let me know.
Kpana’s Garden
Maddie helping Kpana harvest lettuce
Growing a garden is a multi-faceted joy. It takes practice, consistent work, and study to do it well. It can yield beauty and nourishment for the mind as well as the body. Over the last year we have met several people who have come to Togo doing research on gardening and sustainable local food sources. It seems that the benefits of gardening in urban rehabilitation is a hot topic in America.
As someone who loves vegetables, prefers organic foods, and has a large yard, one would think that it would be a perfect opportunity for me to expand my gardening skills beyond the limited success I have had in the past. However, the one necessary ingredient I lack is time. So Mark made a plan. He went to Kanté to visit an organic agriculture specialist named Akanto. Akanto trains orphans to grow special foods such as Moringa oleifera. He hooked us up with a gifted high school student who has worked with him but lives here in Kara. Mark contacted Kpana (the high school student) and invited him over. We showed him the yard and offered him the space to grow vegetables that he can sell and make some money. Since we have a well right on the garden plot, he is sustaining the garden even though we are in dry season.
Kpana’s (I will write more about his life in an upcoming post) results are amazing! He is growing lettuce, tomatoes, cucumbers, carrots, beets, cabbage, moringa, papaya, sweet potatoes, and he is starting to try kale (as a special favor to me!) We buy from his garden, and I don’t think I have ever tasted such refreshing lettuce! So following the example of our friend Matt in Memphis, and Brett and April here in Togo, we are now able to enjoy delicious organic veggies, plus we get to offer the resources God has blessed us with to a friend in need. Maybe it really is a win-win!
Back to work…
It has been a busy start to 2011! After a very relaxing Christmas break we’ve jumped back into routine with both feet. We started back to school on Tuesday, had company for dinner Tuesday night, had worship on Wednesday night, conducted a meeting at our house for the clinic staff yesterday from the time school ended until 6 (Mark ended up working until 8:30.) Tonight we will have dinner guests and we will welcome the children of a friend who just gave birth to stay with us over the weekend. Tomorrow after school we will have several Peace Corps volunteers for dinner, and Sunday we will host team worship at our house. This schedule is a bit of a shocker after having two weeks off from school, and being able to spend so much time with my girls and getting things done around the house!
One treat that I have indulged in is watching Pride and Prejudice (BBC version of course!) On Monday nights our family always eats pizza in front of the tv and watches a movie. A while back it was decided that we would watch all of the Star Wars movies. I stuck with the first three (or second three?) but let’s face it, I find them boring. So for the last two Monday nights I have sequestered myself in my bedroom to watch Pride and Prejudice instead. I lit a candle (one that Beth sent me for Christmas,) positioned a comfy chair in front of the tv, and enjoyed pizza, peace, and Pride and Prejudice. What a great treat it has been! I think even Mark and girls were a little jealous when they saw how cozy and relaxing my space was! So they have one more week of Star Wars, and I have run out of Pride and Prejudice! Should I watch the bonus features? Should I find another comparable flick (as if there is a comparable flick!) I noticed that PBS is going to premiere Downtown Abby, and it is supposed to be spectacular! I will have to get my hands on a copy of that eventually.
Keeping it real…
The following is a list of my responsibilities:
- homeschool my children, along with Abby and Aidan Miller
- keep my house running in an orderly and sanitary manner
- provide meals for my family
- oversee the dispersal and management of funds from Christian Relief Fund to orphans
- work with the Preventing Mother to Child Transmission program at AED to improve monitoring of member protocol adherence
- plan and conduct monthly professional development meetings for clinic staff with Mark
- be a good teammate
- host guests on a regular basis
- exercise, read, spend time in prayer and Bible study, be a happy and cheerful mother and wife, etc.
All of this sounds good, maybe even impressive. However, the truth is that I am barely keeping my head above water. There is usually a delay between when we receive the orphan funds each month and when I actually get the money to the families. There is an orphan caregiver situation that needs intervention, but I haven’t gotten around to yet. My current project with the Preventing Mother to Child Transmission is moving along at a snail’s pace. I am not doing assessments for my students the way I had planned, and I completely threw out the micro-loan project that I wanted to start this year.
SO this post may sound like I am complaining about my mile long to-do list, or like I a playing the martyr, but I don’t intend either of those things. I actually feel quite blessed and amazed during this busy time. When I initially took on the task of teaching this year, I thought I wold put aside most of my work at the clinic and minimize my work with the orphans. Over time, I realized that neither one of those things would be possible, so I’ve kept them up. I often have feelings of frustration that I’m not doing them as well as I’d like, or giving the attention that I think I should, but things seem to be working out. Yesterday I spoke with Bayor, a man who helps keep tabs on some of the orphans we fund. Far from being harsh and judgmental about my tardiness in addressing a situation, he was all kindness and gratefulness for the help I’ve given him. My students seem to be progressing wonderfully at school even though I am not meeting my own standards as a good teacher, and no one at the clinic is frustrated by the slow progress of our project. When I remember that any good I do is really done by God, and that he can accomplish any thing at any rate he chooses, I am completely free of any pressure I may feel. I can just offer up what I have to do in that day. I praise God for his grace and for deigning to include me in his work despite my limitations.
Baptisms in N’Djei
Yesterday was one of those perfect missionary days. Our family got up and got ready to go to N’Djei to worship. N’Djei is an hour from the town where we live, so we arrived at about 10:00 a.m. When we got there we greeted the Christians. Then we went inside the church and spent some time singing, praying, discussing, and encouraging the two men from a nearby village who had made the decision to be baptized that day. After the time we spent in worship, we all left the church building and started off down the road towards the river.
We were a large group filing down a small path for about a mile and half, and I ended up walking alongside 3 year old Anna Marie Miller. As I held her hand and watched to make sure that she didn’t stumble on the rocks, I realized that almost ten years ago we had been in this village with our teammates, making the same walk down to the same river to watch the very first Christians be baptized as well. Maddie was about the same age as Anna Marie at that time, and Michal was about 1 year old and had to be carried.
We traipsed through a watermelon patch and finally reach the river bank. We had to wade up the river a bit to find a good spot to do the baptisms as it is dry season and the river is low. The cool water was relief to our bodies after walking in the hot sun. The kids thought that it was a playful treat! The two men entered the water, and with much enthusiasm, were baptized. I love how expressive the Togolaise people are!
Afterwards, we returned to the church for communion, and for more praise and worship. There was no mistake about it, the church was full of joy! Some time later we walked to Jerome’s house next door where we were served a dinner of rice with a chicken tomato sauce along with yams. It was delicious and not too spicy to eat!
After our meal we were invited to go down the road to the family home of the two men. We drove a little ways, then got out of the car and had to walk the rest. When we arrived, there were chairs and benches set up under some trees, and there were bowls as well. I prepared myself to receive a second lunch! We sat down and were entertained by some men with a drum, a Kabiye flute, and another percussion instrument. As everyone gathered there was an feeling of celebration. We numbered about 50 adults, and maybe another 25 children. The two men were from a very large and prominent family in the area.
We spent the rest of the afternoon eating spicy bean cakes, visiting, listening to music and dancing for joy. Eventually we had to leave but I’m sure that the celebration continued long after our departure.
It was so exciting to see how the family of these two men embraced their decision to follow Christ and treated it as a celebration. I am excited to see if their wives and children soon will follow suit. I am honored that we were able to participate in such a happy occasion. I am in awe of what God is doing in Togo.
Missionary Preparation for Women
I was recently asked by my friend Ashlee what I did to prepare myself for the mission field. Even though the question is a simple and maybe obvious one, it has actually turned out to be quite provocative. I know there are many women who came to the mission field much better prepared than I did, but I also feel like I was blessed to have the opportunity to prepare for the mission field twice. I would most definitely say that the wisdom and experience I had gained between my first arrival and my second arrival in Togo made things much easier!
There are obvious things to talk about. We learned French. We got rid of some things that we wouldn’t need here. We read books about other missionaries and cross cultural experiences. We prayed for the Kabiye people. However, there are some things that run a lot deeper and that I feel were more instrumental to fitting me to God’s purpose in Togo.
Probably he biggest thing was that God began stripping away the layers of my own self reliance and selfish will. This was (and still is at times) a very frustrating process. I wanted to lay down my own will, but I found it to be much like the experience of Eustace in Voyage of the Dawn Treader as he attempts to shed his dragon skin to turn back into a boy (if you do not know this story, click here for an excellent synopsis.) I wanted to lay my will down once and be done with it, then I could be holy and righteous. However, the truth is that I have to lay it down in so many different ways over and over again. I am comforted by the fact that as life continues and I practice this, it gets easier to do and the benefits of unloading my selfish and narrow minded ways to take on God’s wisdom are increasingly joyous.
Another important transformation I asked God to make in my life is to help me embrace a life of service. Sometimes we think that we will serve and love others when the right opportunity presents itself. My teammates and I believe that if you are not putting yourself out there to love and serve where you are, you won’t do it on the mission field either. God works in the fertile ground of a heart that is willing to share life with others. For our family it was volunteering to work with Sudanese Refugee families. Sometimes it was a little disruptive to our plans. Sometimes we didn’t feel like it. Sometimes it was hard to know that they had great difficulties, and we couldn’t help them. However, I still regard one of the Sudanese mothers as my hero. I still am amazed at her faith and indomitable spirit. And I still am humbled by the greatness of this meek woman! All of those emotions and thoughts are echoed daily in my work here.
One more thing that I feel that God has shown me is that a teachable and humble spirit is absolutely indispensable. I need to listen to others as well as God. In America, confidence and intelligence are considered great qualities. However, these things that we are taught to strive for can often lead us to an arrogance that discounts the wisdom that others have to offer. Recognizing that I have only my viewpoint and that it stems from my own limited experience has helped me to see that I have so much to learn from those around me. I am so thankful for the insights and perceptiveness of my teammates and my Kabiye friends who teach me so much on a daily basis, and who help me take my limited understanding and turn it into great work. With this in mind, I approach each of my projects here as a learner and not just a worker.
These are a few things that have come to mind. If any of my wiser and more experienced friends would like to chime in, please do. I would love to see and be able to pass on what you have learned!
